How communicators can elicit more candid feedback
When workplace discussions go off the rails, it’s often due to a lack of empathy and clarity. Try these tactics to conduct more substantive conversations that yield richer, more honest insights.
How do your colleagues really feel about work right now?
What bugs them about their jobs, and what could the company do to alleviate their biggest concerns?
Communicators who can capture this sort of candid feedback are truly indispensable. But it takes a strategic approach to glean honest insights that most workers won’t freely share. Keep these tips in mind to pursue more free-flowing, enlightening conversations:
Focus first on the needs of the feedback receiver.
As challenging as it is for even the best-trained and experienced givers of feedback to conduct constructive feedback discussions, the emotional burden is borne by the person receiving the input.
Receiving constructive feedback fires up a full shopping cart of emotional reactions ranging from challenging a person’s sense-of-self to generating feelings of outrage, anger or disappointment.
As the feedback giver, it’s imperative for you to tune in to the potential for these emotional reactions and bring both empathy and clarity to the situation. Your extra work preparing for the discussion will improve your odds of creating a mutually valuable outcome.
Earn the right to give someone feedback.
The quality of your feedback discussions are directly related to the quality of the relationships you foster with your team members. Research shows trusting, engaged leaders generate a positive brain response from their counterparts, while dissonant or negative leaders achieve the opposite.
Invest in creating genuine relationships where the understanding and expectation is you will help each other with feedback. The belief that you have the person’s safety and growth at the forefront of your mind opens the door to excellent quality feedback exchanges.
Just remember, you have to earn the right to give someone feedback. If your first effort at relationship development and creating trust is in the feedback discussion, you’re in for a challenging experience.
Always pre-plan your opening sentence(s) to ensure clarity.
The feedback giver’s opening statement determines the discussion’s fate. That’s a lot of weight for a sentence or two, but the openers are where you frame the discussion around the observed behavior and tie it to impact.
While some models suggest the impact should focus on how it affected you, I advocate for focusing on how the observed behavior impacted business performance. Connecting the behavior to performance reduces the chances of it feeling like an indictment.
Once you’ve crafted your opening sentence, practice delivering it until you are comfortable with the sound and flow.
Tune your attitude before you engage.
I strive to remind myself ahead of a feedback discussion on how important this opportunity is for both of us. I remind myself to tune my mind, voice and body language to show care, encouragement and openness. Instead of dictating a change, I remind myself that it’s incumbent upon me to facilitate the mutual development of an approach.
Finally, engage with empathy, humility and clarity.
I know from long history and ample feedback I tend to come across strong in my communications. It’s essential for me to think through how I’m going to engage. You should do the same. Armed with the pre-preparation for your opening sentence and the right attitude, vocal tone and body language, you can comfortably engage in the discussion to pursue mutual gain. If you are uncomfortable with the behavior and topic, don’t hide it.
Our tendency with challenging conversations is to hurry up and escape. Do the opposite. Slow down. Let the receiver process the situation. Encourage suggestions immediately, and shift the focus to the future. Start talking about how the behavior might look in future settings. Once you agree, offer coaching, set a follow-on time to review progress, and thank the individual for their time.
Because feedback can trigger so many adverse emotional reactions, extra care is essential in planning and conducting these discussions. Your extraordinary work to focus on the receiver’s needs in feedback discussions will improve your odds of successful outcomes and strengthen your relationships all at the same time.
Art Petty is a leadership coach and author. Read more on his blog.
