Cheesy press release quote of the day

Venom energy drink issued a press release today offering a year’s supply—that’s 365 blood-sugar-spiking bottles—of the drink to the snake’s captor.

I’ve read my share of press release quotes, but none as cheesy as this one:

“It’s going to take nerves of steel, cat-like reflexes, and some really thick gloves, preferably steel mesh,” said Dan Huff, director of marketing for Venom Energy Drink. “So we’re glad the Bronx Zoo’s experts are on the job. Charming and capturing a deadly snake is for experts, but we’ve tried to replicate the adrenaline thrill with our custom energy blend. It’s just the sort of venom you actually want running through your veins.”