I’ve always thought it would be fun to write the fortunes in fortune cookies.
Over the years, I’ve seen some funny ones: “You will be hungry in exactly one hour,” and, “Pass the bill to the person on your left.” I’ve seen preachy ones: “Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.” And I’ve seen fortunes that aren’t fortunes at all: “You are able to juggle many tasks.”
So for this week’s post, I’ve written fortunes for writers, editors, and PR professionals—a pleasant surprise is in store for you.
Hyphens will soon be made clear to you.
- Writer’s block is only a state of mind.
- What’s the sound of one hand typing?
- Speechwriting is not for the weak of heart.
- Write for your readers, not your boss.
- PowerPoint is not a verb.
- Capitalizing the letters in your job title does not make you more important.
- Every activity in your life can’t be “epic.”
- Health care is two words.
- Write simply.
- Sometimes the clown acts run the circus.
- Choose your battles: Insist on the use of the serial comma.
- Write first, edit later.
- An email of more than two paragraphs will not be read.
- “Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” (Christopher Hitchens)
- An article of 1,000 words is best written after three cups of coffee.
- Do not be afraid to take risks with new words.
- Bank robbery may be your only option.
- Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural, a puppy dies.
- “An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
- Does the information you put in parentheses really have to be in the sentence?
- Write better email subject lines.
Similes are like metaphors.
- Keep your friends close and your style guide closer.
- A good exit strategy is to sit close to the door.
- Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.
readers, care to contribute a fortune or two?
[RELATED: Get advanced writing and editing tips from Mark Ragan and Jim Ylisela.]
Laura Hale Brockway is an Austin-based writer and editor. She writes about writing at www.impertinentremarks.com.